When you have stopped laughing be sure to forward this on to others who would enjoy a good story.This one is compliments of Anonymous.An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf so he puts his name down at the local Club. After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down, so off he goes down to the Club to ask the reason why!Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish Golf Club?Scot: Aye, and I am as Scottish as ye are Jock.Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.Scot: Aye, so do I.Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?Scot: Aye, neither do I.Secretary: But you are a Jew?Scot: Aye, I be that.Secretary: So you are circumcised?Scot: Aye, I be that too.Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.Scot: Och, away with ye, I ken ye have tae be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen, and I ken ye have tae be a Catholic tae becoom a. As her boyfriend Jack had deliberately arranged to be home at the same time, their presence around the baby was sporadic and Izzy looked permanently flushed in the face and chest all weekend.Enough said about that. At least whatever they did - in bed and out - took place in Julie’s house, so I didn’t have to listen to it. Interestingly, neither of them ever visited Jack’s father Tony. Perhaps his flat lacked the privacy their excessive libidos required.Predictably though, the first problems were all practical. In some ways, Leanne might as well have been my first child, so much had changed in terms of what I was supposed to do to look after her ‘the right way’. Things we routinely did with our first three children were now frowned on; things we thought ill-advised were now obligatory. It was baffling.It didn’t help that most of the so-called advisers were decades younger than me and were full of good ideas about how an older parent like me should bring up my child. I had to bite my.
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